Wanna read part one? Click here!
Okay, so part two. Let’s do this? I question myself, because I need to. My silly girly self needs to pause before I continue. Can you pause with me? Can we both just take a moment and ask Jesus to be the center of this blog? . . . Did you do it? If not yet, don’t worry, I’ll wait! I’ll always wait for prayer.
(If praying isn’t a common practice in your day, think about adding it. I talk to Jesus about everything, from help on my exams, to ease of my bodily pain, and more importantly I pray that He’ll teach me new things, and that I’ll learn more so how to give glory to Him each day. If we approach Jesus with the little things, He won’t seem far off when it comes to the big things.)
Oh – k. Breakups. They suck. They really do, because they hurt. I’m going to assume that you are a little like me, and that you value being cared for. There is few things more hurtful for me than to feel as though the people around me do not care for the well being of my heart.
There’s a lot of things I want to cover with this series. I’m praying and discerning wisdom for what to share, and how to share, and when to share, you know? Maybe we should pray again.
I first want to start at the beginning. One of the best ways to avoid a lot of hurt in your relationship, both throughout, and when it ends (if it ends), is to center it, from the very moment it begins, on Jesus. If you’re a few days, weeks, months, or years into a relationship and you haven’t started that yet, this very moment is the most perfect to begin praying and inviting Jesus into your relationship.
I knew from soon after I met boy, that I wanted to know him more. I remember telling my Mom before I left for the camp, that there was a boy who was probably going to distract me. From that moment, even before I knew him well, I was praying about it. I was aware that my heart was attracted to him, so I was giving him to Jesus from the get-go.
I spent much time in the days leading up to when we actually started dating both reading and meditating on Psalm 25. It is one of my most favourite Psalms.
While I love the entire chapter, there were a few verses that I really chewed and prayed through. Psalm 25:4-5 says:
Make me to know your ways, O LORD;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.
I constantly asked that the Lord would make known to me His way for me, and guide me in the way that I should go.
This was before I even knew that boy and I would date. I hoped it would happen, so, before we started dating, before we were even considering anything beyond attraction to one another, I was praying.
This is true even now for me. While I’m not in a relationship at this point, I do pray for my future relationships. I pray that God would always point me in the right direction. I constantly ask Jesus to lead me, at the right time, into a new relationship. Most often, my prayer is for patience in the meantime and for the ability to live well as a single.
Once we started dating, we prayed even more. Every single time we were together, I would end the time in prayer. Whether it was together with boy, in my car as I drove home, or as I walked into my apartment, I was praying. One thing I prayed was that boy would initiate prayer more. Over time he did. God answers our prayers and most specifically responds to the ones where we ask for Him to be known more. God wants us to want Him!
I’m not saying this to sound like I’m proud of myself for being such a good woman of prayer, or to make you feel as though you’re not doing enough. I am saying this because my prayers for God to lead me were the ones that sustained me once the relationship was over. This is true for you as well. The only thing worth clinging to in this world is Jesus because our God knows all things. Following Him closely will keep our hearts safe.
We also had many people pray for us. If you are dating someone, ask people to pray over your relationship. It’s easy to get stuck in a relationship where the only person you talk to is the other person. Talk to Jesus, and glean wisdom off of those around you who are seeking Jesus as well. Ask me to pray for you. I’d be super happy to.
My Dad told me that his prayer for us was simple.
Lord, if this relationship is not meant to be, end it quick.
To you that might sound like an odd prayer. Why pray that things would end? Well, because my Dad wanted Jesus to protect our hearts for our future spouses.
God was gracious in my relationship. It lasted the amount it was meant to last, and ended when it was supposed to end. I believe that God designs our relationships to have purpose. One big purpose is marriage, but the main purpose of any and all relationship is to push one another to Christ.
I prayed many things throughout my relationship with boy. The prayers I prayed at the beginning were the ones that gave me strength later on.
I’m going to share more of those things next time. In fact, you’ll be reading words from my journal in just a few days.
If you’re confused as to what to pray, just pray this:
Jesus, I want to pray but don’t know how. Teach me how.
That’s a great first prayer. Talk to God like you would a friend. If you were to follow me around for a day or two, you would hear me talking aloud all the time when I’m alone. I bring up everything with Jesus. That’s the biggest piece of advice I would give you. Invite Jesus into everything.
That’s enough words for now.
Let me end by sharing a portion of scripture out of Philippians. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (4:6-7 ESV). I know I might sound like I’m repeating myself, but please hear me on this – when we go to Jesus and when we lay everything at the feet of Jesus, we will be able to get through anything!
The reason I can share this story, amidst my heart hurting at times as I remember back, is because I am praying and petitioning Jesus to comfort me. Jesus comforts all who call upon His name.
Make your requests known to God. His peace will guard you.
Just like last time, I look forward to chatting again soon.
Bye sweet friends,
Written by be.loved team member: Nadine Schroeder