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Redefining Modesty: Why its important to dress modestly

Admin- Kymberly Janelle May 10, 2012 Style 3 Comments

Written by be.loved team member: Margaret E. Barley 

My boyfriend and I were talking about the topic of modestly a few weeks ago. There was a question that kept floating around in my head and I was genuinely curious, so I asked him, “How often do men think about sex?” He responded by saying, “Way more than you think. Even the most holy seeming, God-fearing man thinks about sex. If he tells you he doesn’t, he’s lying.” Woah. I was seriously taken back, I mean I knew guys thought about sex but I guess I didn’t realize how much.

Since men are stimulated by sight, it is incredibly hard for them to keep their thoughts under control when they see a woman wearing anything tight, short, or revealing. Yes, that includes yoga pants. Now I’m not condemning yoga pants (heck, I practically live in them), I’m just sharing what the boyfriend shared with me. He told me he remembers talking with a friend in high school about how modest girls are the way to go (preach!). He stated that modest girls have everything, if not more, than “hot” girls but they don’t feel the need to flaunt it. This in turn gives them character, more self-confidence, and it ultimately makes them more attractive. Ladies: he literally said modest is hottest! Kind of makes you think twice about what you’re going to put on in the morning doesn’t it?

I haven’t always believed in modesty. In high school I dressed in a way that attracted the wrong kind of attention. I know why I did it—the attention felt good. I felt wanted. But I have realized now that modesty is key in becoming a woman of Christ. As women of faith, what kind of man do we want to attract? A man that wants us for our bodies? Or a man that strives to be like Christ and in return sees us as God’s most perfect creation? Through the realization that I am beautiful in the eyes of Christ, I no longer desire the attention that I sought after in high school. I am so thankful that God has placed a man in my life that sees me for the true beauty I have through Jesus Christ.

I have heard a lot of women say, “Men are such pigs and they only care about our bodies. They’re always making jokes about how we look.” I’ve said these very words myself, but after talking with the boyfriend I have realized that we, as women, are being stumbling blocks for our Christian brothers. How many times did I purposely choose to dress in a way that attracted the wrong kind of attention? By dressing in revealing and tight clothes we are tempting our brothers. Men do have a responsibility to keep their thoughts at bay, but we have a responsibility to not lead them into sin. This is part of our duty when we choose to live as women being called to a higher standard.

Ladies I encourage you to think twice about what you choose to put on in the morning. Not only for our brothers in Christ, but for ourselves too. It’s essential that we view ourselves as Christ views us (I talked about this in Part 1) and that is with beauty, dignity, and respect. For me, when I am covered up I feel more comfortable, I’m not worried about constantly having to pull my skirt down. I am able to have more confidence because I’m not worried about my outfit showing off too much of my body. Not only should we do this for ourselves, but by dressing modestly we set an example for others around us. We have the ability to show both men and women what it means to live as Christ’s beloved one.

Our be.loved team recently received an email from a young man, and I would like to share a piece of it with you:


“…By setting the bar high, it has also been a great reminder to pursue a woman who is fully in love with Jesus and set her identity as a daughter of our Heavenly Father…”


Let’s set the bar high. Let’s continue to redefine womanly beauty because we have been chosen by Christ, we have been set apart. Let the way we dress reflect that.

Set your sight heavenward and never underestimate the power you have as a woman of Christ.




Written by be.loved team member: Margaret E. Barley 

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  1. kelly e May 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    AMEN!!!!! Couldn’t agree more with this!

  2. Nadine S. May 12, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    I love this. Our calling is higher. The standard is higher. We live by it because we LOVE Jesus and He loves us more!

  3. Melissa W June 22, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Super agree! I found it sad sometimes that specially some Christian girls think that, if you are Christian then you can’t enjoy fashion. I Personally LOVE Fashion and that is actually what I am studying for to work in the future. We can be passionately in LOVE with JESUS (which I am <3) and also enjoy styles and Fashion. Reflecting His image from the inside and staying modest with how we dress yet enjoying the beauty of clothing and shoes it's what i'd like to do <3 :)

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