Some are blatantly doing it. Others are being ‘sneaky’.
Some are oblivious that they are doing it. Others are in denial.
So what is it?
It is the desire to be seen.
Sometimes the desire is directed towards a man, sometimes it is at your boss, at other times maybe towards a family member.
It doesn’t look the same for every person because it is in our hearts that we do it. We throw ourselves on the table with the desire to be accepted, the longing to be wanted, and looking for attention. Sometimes we stand extra close to a guy, or we walk by him several times trying to make ourselves known. Maybe we have found ourselves waking up the following morning next to that person, only to wonder if they even remember our name.
You see I used to be that girl who was blatantly throwing myself at men who I thought could fill that emptiness in me. Over time, as I grew closer in my relationship with God, I began discovering that God sees me and because of that I don’t have to be seen by man to be given worth. But there was still residue left over in my heart; the root still hadn’t been dug out of me. There were little, tiny, sneaky fears that had interwoven themselves into my heart, trying to disguise themselves as truth.
While I wasn’t going to bed with men, I found myself still seeking a man’s approval by the looks I would receive. Would he look at me today? [Which is harmless if left only at that] But my poor little heart would continually find itself crushed if I didn’t receive the attention I thought I deserved.
Instead of placing my hope in God, I had placed it into the hands of an unknowing man. Instead of setting my eyes on God and watching Him fix His eyes on me, I focused on whether a physical man noticed me.
My heart needs attention, affection, and loving kindness. And this is possible through Jesus Christ. He reconciled me to God. So when God looks down at me, He looks at me like He looks at His son Jesus. He see’s me through His son’s righteousness.
I do not ‘deserve’ anything because of anything I have done, or circumstances that have occurred or not occurred in my life. I am not a beggar—I am not an orphan in God’s kingdom. I am loved and accepted. I enrapture my beloved one. I need not fear that my heart will not be satisfied. For He himself satisfies every longing, every desire He placed deep within me. Those desires longing to be loved, to be seen, to be wanted- those were put within me to call me back to love himself. He created the desire, and He will be faithful to satisfy that desire.
Written by be.loved founder Kymberly Janelle
tweeting @ kymberlyjanelle
blogging @ lifewithkymberlyjanelle