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Love + Expectations.

Admin- Kymberly Janelle February 13, 2013 Relationships 1 Comment on Love + Expectations.

Expectations (noun):

1. A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

2. A belief that someone will or should achieve something.

Most of the time we don’t realize we have expectations until they go unmet. It is only in our disappoint that we see what we expected to happen and the fact that it didn’t.

Love comes with many expectations – to be desired, to be romanced, to be cherished, to be appreciated.

When you’re single it is unimaginable that these expectations wouldn’t be met.

Isn’t that was love is? Isn’t love two people waking up everyday completely willing to serve one another in any way they can?

Well, yes…

But, I have a confession: I love my husband with every fiber of my being but I will be the first to admit that serving him is H.A.R.D. And I wouldn’t be surprised if other married women chimed in and quickly agreed.

Here’s the deal…

Before I got married I painted a picture of what I expected marriage to be like.

Justin and I would be so in love that every morning we would wake up, smile at each, and I would leap out of bed to make him breakfast and coffee. He would send me sweet text messages every chance he got and put his clothes in the laundry basket every time because he knows it makes my life easier. I would never get annoyed by his anxious habits and he would find the way I chew so cute he would ask me to come closer while eating. We would never fight over the covers. We would always go to bed happy and holding each other close.

And then I got married and reality set in.

Some mornings are a struggle because we have to leave the house at different times and the other gets annoyed by the bedroom light or the noise. Naturally, it’s not handled so graceful at five in the morning. There are times we are too busy to send each other any text messages besides, “I’m on my way home.” or “I spent $17.89 at Wal Mart.” And the clothes occasionally don’t make it into the laundry basket. Justin fidgets and he really hates the way I chew. We fight over the covers. And I hate to admit it but we’ve gone to bed so angry with each other we slept as far away from each other as possible.

That’s not a great example of two people waking up everyday completely willing to serve one another any way they can, huh?

I agree. It’s not!

That’s because loving someone well is H.A.R.D. It’s a sacrifice. It’s a struggle.

Don’t believe me?

Take a look at this. THIS is how you love someone well:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
{1 Corinthians 13:4-8}
After reading that is doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the reason our expectations of love go unmet.

Being patient and kind and trying to not be envious or boastful is hard. Honoring someone and choosing to be selfless takes sacrifice. Keeping your temper in check and not holding grudges is a struggle.
In reality, we have no right to have any expectations of love because we can’t meat anyone else’s expectations.
So to all my single ladies:
I encourage you to lay down your expectations of romantic love (excluding the expectation to be respected as a woman and not abused or taken advantage of – I need to make this very clear – always expect that). Try to abandon the expectations of how you think love should go. Instead of seeking a man who fits the bill of the latest chick flick hunk, seek a man who strives to live out 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. He won’t always meet your expectations but he will try and that will mean more to you than his failures.
And to all my married gals:
I want to free you from the expectations of your marriage and the discouragement that sets in when those expectations aren’t met. Strive to show the love outlined in the passage above and have grace on yourself and your spouse when you royally mess things up. Be careful to not hold your spouse to a standard you can’t even meet (ouch – I’m preaching to myself here too!).
Love is a many splendored thing. Don’t let expectations change that.
Written by: Guest Blogger Hannah Wofford
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1 Comment

  1. Allison February 17, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    Great post! I love your honesty. That verse is hard to live up to but it’s such a great thing when both halves of the couple have that kind of Godly love as their goal!

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